How to Avoid Being a Victim of Date Rape
Women Self Defense – Ladies, whether you are going on your first date with a man or your fifth, it is important to take the proper precautions against date rape. There are many statistics floating around regarding being raped by strangers and people you know, such as a date. A higher probability exists for women being raped by someone they know. Just remember, on the dating scene, trust should be built slowly as it has to be proven over time. The first line of self defense is protecting your backside, leaving yourself a way out should things get a bit sticky.
1. Inform someone you trust about where you will be and at what times. Provide your cell phone number, email or any other means of communication for you. Tell a close friend, parent, roommate or trusted individual where you will be on your date, who you are meeting and your estimated time of return. Proving this information means the police will have a starting point should something happen to you.
2. For the first few dates with a new guy, always meet in a public place and do not allow them to pick you up at your place of work or residence. Should things get dicey, you do not want them frequenting your work place and conducting drive-bys of your home. Also, by meeting in a public place, you are avoiding possible date rape, if that is the man’s ultimate intention. Rapists want isolated areas where they are less likely to get caught so do not consent to that “romantic stroll” through the park unless you are absolutely sure about the fellow you are dating.
3. Arrange for your own transportation to and from dates. For a while, do not allow him to pick you up from home or work. Set a prearranged location for your date and always carry enough cash should you need to take public transportation like a bus or cab home if you are stuck and want to get away. Each person is different so you will have to trust your own judgment as to when it would be ok to have your date meet you at your home.
4. Be open and honest with your communications in regards to sexual boundaries. If you are not comfortable with how fast a date is trying to go with intimacy, say so right away. Do not act coy or try to crawfish to spare any feelings. State directly that you do not want to do something and stick to that directive. If you waffle on the issue, it would likely not take much for your date to press harder.
5. Hone your skills in identifying dates that try to further the relationship too quickly such as saying “I love you” within just a few dates or try to press for sex before you are ready. In interviews with victims of date rape, most of the women said that their dates tried to push the intimacy issue rather quickly, becoming overly familiar while not picking up on the cues they gave them to slow down. When a date does not respect the boundaries you set for yourself, it is time to move on quickly and separate yourself from the situation.
6. If your gut feeling says something is not right, then trust it. Women’s intuition has saved many and it is not something to dismiss, thinking date rape or some other assault will not happen to you. When you do not feel comfortable with a situation, find a graceful, non-confrontational way to end the date with you leaving alone and not followed by your date.
7. Always carry your cell or mobile phone with you, particularly on your person in a jacket or pants pocket when on a date. If you feel you need to leave your date, you can excuse yourself to the bathroom and call a friend to conveniently “bump” into you in public so they can help you leave. You could also call the restaurant, movie or other place where your date is occurring and have yourself paged and then pretend to be surprised by the “news” that you have to leave due to an accident, family emergency or whatever plausible excuse you may come up with.
This is an extract from our ebook “Self Defense For Women”
